Getting Sick

A friend of mine, who was one of the most intelligent and classy women I ever knew had a needle point cushion on her couch.  "Screw the Golden Years" 
A lot of our time in these years is occupied by coping with the wondrous machines we've been given, breaking down.  Our joints, our teeth, our eyes, our innards all seem to fall apart.  The doctor that trimmed up my knee last month told me that I had very little wear and tear considering the good times I'd had.  Great doc.  So much comfort that was.  He did good work.  If you need a referral, be in touch.
I do not begrudge my body having limitations. I have used it unmercifully and at this juncture, I appreciate every mile, every double diamond, every broad reach, every tackle, every scrum, every lay up, every lunge, parry, stop thrust and point.  I've also loved every paragraph read and written, every meal savored, every hand held, and nail pounded.  I give thanks that I've been so healthy for so long.
But this state of affairs didn't come gradually.  I retired in July and I'm scheduling my second surgery in February.  Did Social Security send out a memo to my body, "Break down now?" 
I'm very glad these doctors can do so much with so much less side effect, but it still is a bit strange to be discussing things like getting used to side effects. 
So my gratitude is all mixed up with anxiety and grumpiness.  And I assume it is just the beginning of  this time of life. 
I'm very grateful I've had a few challenges along the way.  Once you've been told some of these dire 'could be's' you kind of get used to down shifting and leave the trembling for later.  And I've had a few of these.  I'm also grateful for all the wise and witty folk who taught me so much as they faced their own challenges and allowed me to share the journeys with them. As we journeyed they opened a whole country of realities and honesty and faith to me that I will never forget. 
I am also very grateful for the faith that I offered to so many along the way.  The deep dark valleys that I shared and the light of faith I carried for them is for me now.  Makes it a little less dark and puts the whole thing in a better perspective when you've got a light shining.
Yup.  I'm grateful.
But don't get me wrong, it's still a pain in the ass and assorted other zones.
So here we go again.