ICONS

I was talking with a class the other day about what moved an individual from important or powerful or famous into the place of an icon.  We nosed around it for a while, looking at people that had iconic place in our culture.  FDR, Kennedy, Regan, Martin Luther King, Mohamed Ali, Janis Joplin, Sinatra, people that stood out.  It had nothing to do with our approval or sense of resonance with their thoughts and attitudes.  It had to do with how they siezed their moment in history, how they lived in such a way as to help define that moment.

It made me consider individuals that have done that for me.  How my history has been defined, for better or worse by individuals I have known.  Some of it has to do with them and some of it has to do with me.  It would be nice if such dominant personalities in my life had been all positive, lovely people.  But such is not the case for any of us.  Our struggles are just as formative as our blessed days.  A considerable amount of my life has been spent in defending myself from the incursions of people who weren't very nice to me.  It took me a long time to find a style of balance that kept me away from fear of losing myself. 

I said to the class that one of the best definitions of a healthy person is one who doesn't feel the need to defend or justify themselves, but is willing to accept people for who and what they are and allow them the space to be that way.   It's not easy to be graceful, partly because we do react in fear and we do spend a lot of our lives defining ourselves according to ego boundaries that are rarely more sophisticated than our two year old protestations of "No" and "Mine."  Our vocabulary is larger and we have all kinds of justifications but it's hard to grow into a secure person.  Another reason it's hard to be graceful is that sometimes it's painful.  We get punished for not seeking to win or convert or have our own way. 

Anyway, I  think if I want to put a few icons on my psychic refrigerator, it might do me good to consider what I've learned from them.  How have they facilitated my growth toward demonstrating grace and peace in my life?  How do they, in their own way teach me about living?  Abraham Lincoln does that for me.  As does Michaelangelo.  So does my wife.  There are a few others that shall not be named.  I tend to get hives when I consider them.  Boy, are they instructive.